Pro Rally may end up being the prettiest game you can't stand to play. It definitely lacks very little in the graphics department, right down to the cars and the view of the track. The actual tracks and the environments you'll race in are sweet. The color, the light and the peripheral objects really come together to give a sense of location. Castles and buildings along the road, little towns you'll jet through, and campers set up along the side of the road contribute a lot to atmosphere, but none of it is worth much when your fancy, jacked-up Rally car drives like a go-kart. Inside or outside the car, everything looks crisp and clean. The view from the driver's seat is nice, complete with shifting hand and stick and a dashboard view of the important information like speed and gear.

The music is techno, pumping and driving with even a few interesting twists that let you know someone didn't just put a sample on repeat and go out for a coffee. Me, I'm a little tired of techno in my racing games, unless the game happens to be Wipeout. So, I turned down the thumping and listened to my engine roar, my navigator howling at me to slow down for a tight curve, and the screech of my tires in a tight corner. And, even with all the pretties and the nice music, there was a lot of junk to look at that had me howling in outrage and wishing this sweet exterior could have informed even a little of what's under the hood.

Pop the hood on this stinker, and you've got a game that purports to be about Rally, and ends up being a kart racer with some licensed cars and beautiful scenery. A shame to waste the licenses and the scenery, if you ask me. The idea behind Rally is one man, one car. You go up against the clock, compete for the best time and take on some gnarly off-road or mixed-road tracks all over the world. Basically, it's the NASCAR of Europe. But, instead of a bunch of drunk, tobacco chewin' crackers bumping each other around the track and turning left, you get effete Eurotrash driving hot little cars you and I will never see through rocky terrain, tree-lined hills and twisty mountain roads. If the first part sounded better to you, Rally might not be your bag. But, even if you're the biggest Rally fan in the world, this isn't the game for you.

Sure, it has all the expected modes. You can race Single Player, Time Trials or go to school to train before you begin the Professional Championship. Sad to say, most race fans will drop out way before the Championship starts, especially over the terrible, terrible training. Basic driving skills? Sure, they're important. If you want to skip the testing, you can always jump right into Time Trial Mode, but who doesn't want to compete in a Championship? The Training, instead of showing you how to handle the car, illustrated why the entire game needs its head examined. Trying to complete the training is like trying to tie a knot in a cherry stem with nothing but your tongue. It can be done, but it's incredibly hard and you look like an ass doing it in a bar. Bumping into a wall is an immediate disqualification. Running out of time is an immediate disqualification. You have to complete the training just to get into the Championship, so it's not really voluntary. 2 additional modes, Arcade and Trophy, can be unlocked, but again you probably won't bother.

Unless you like being ridiculed by your friends, you probably won't want to invite them over to play with you, but if you actually were expecting a kart racer, you can take another player out for a simultaneous run, or go against up to 8 racers in sequence. The idea of a simultaneous run carries over to the Single Player, where you can race against a ghost image of your last run. But, the issues with control and the feel of the car doesn't change from mode to mode and really doesn't change from car to car. It's sad there isn't more meat on these Pro Rally bones, and I'm a big enough fan of racing and rally games to give it more than a fair shake with not just a little bit of bias in its favor. But, compared to the other race offerings out there, it's hard to understand why anyone would waste his time on Pro Rally.

It's difficult alright. Difficult to understand how a team of programmers managed to take a great looking racing game and apply the kind of physics you'd expect on a Game Boy Advance instead of Gamecube. Cars get stuck on walls, inside walls, knocked out of the course (which brings the game to a complete stop and places you back on the track after a brief delay), and generally float around like they're burning Helium instead of petroleum. The lack of any noticeable racing realism, other than the acceleration and deceleration, make this one to stay far, far away from.

Nothing says, ''I hate you'' more than a shoddy engine in a game that should be all about a great engine. Cars fly around the track like they're on ice, even when they're on dry tarmac. Hitting the brakes causes the car to come to an immediate, complete stop, and the handbrake doesn't seem to have any useful purpose. Pressing the (A) button to engage the handbrake sends the car into an uncontrollable spin at even the slowest speeds, and at higher speeds the same effect can be created by using the brake and quickly stepping on the gas. Weather conditions and environmental variations may encourage you to change your setup for the car, choose a different car or adjust your driving style. All the important things can be changed under the hood or in the driveshaft, including gearing, brakes and steering. Creating any kind of useful configuration for these cars would probably require an aerospace or engineering degree, given the terrible unresponsive controls. The co-driver system is intact, and you are able to follow along with the signals given to you in anticipation of road conditions and upcoming turns, or you can just follow the mini-map in the interface. Either way, you'll find yourself bored with the limited car choice, frustrated by the terrible floaty control these cars exhibit, and just generally wanting to look elsewhere for Rally racing excitement.

It's a shame the underpinning of Pro Rally is so awful, because it looks great coming out of the box. I was excited to try out some of these cars, especially the exotics like Seat and Citroen. The problem is that 6 out of 20 cars are Seat models, each only slightly different than the other, and 20 cars don't make for much of a challenge when filling your garage. There is nothing inspiring about this game, and don't think for a minute that I was expecting it to be some kind of genre-buster. All I wanted was a fun Rally game with some great tracks, great cars and a realistic feel. Not looking for a simulator, mind you, but there is nothing fun or remotely realistic about Pro Rally. Steer clear.