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Inbred Redneck Vampires
Score: 45%
Rating: Not Rated
Publisher: MVD Entertainment Group
Region: 1
Media: DVD/1
Running Time: 108 Mins.
Genre: Horror
Audio: English Dolby Digital

Features:
  • Feature Length Commentary
  • Behind the Scenes Featurette
  • Blooper Reel
  • Photo Gallery
  • Trailer

Lately I've seen quite a few horror movies, but none of them can even be compared to Inbred Redneck Vampires.

A vampire (Felicia Pandolfi) (from here out known as Mistress since she doesn't have a name) and her servant Lendel (Warren E.B.B.) are being pursued by a vampire hunter, so they steal a truck from Billy Joe Barney Bob (Robert J. Olin) to get away quicker. They find that they end up in a small redneck town called Backwash. Mistress decides that she will just turn this town into her legion of vampires. Of course, Lendel isn't allowed to be turned no matter how much he wants to.

The Poissier family (pronounced Pisser) has just won a room redecorating contest. Ma (Carrie Davis), Pa (Mike Hegg), Eva (Lindsey A. Hope) and Junior will be entertaining the decorator Jean-Claude (Scott Shanks). I feel really bad for this poor decorator. HGTV would never send someone to a home like the Poissier's house! They never do show us the "before" of the room that he has to redecorate, but it's the bathroom and I can only guess the shape that it is in by Claude's reaction. Claude's accommodations sharing a bed with Junior are even worse!

Next door to the Poissiers live the Petersons. Eunice Peterson (Dee Alsman) is Ma Poissier's arch nemesis. Every year, they compete for the top prize in the Tripe Days Festival. This year, their daughters Eva Poissier & Missy Sue Peterson (Amber Carillo) will also be competing against each other for Festival Queen, so there's rivalry between the families all around. Eunice, especially, will do anything to try and win!

Junior Poissier has a best friend, Cletus (Bill Bradford). Cletus is a dwarf who really likes to cause trouble and drink. Junior and Cletus even have a poker night with One-Eyed Lurlene (Sha Boseley). If you ever wanted to see a 300+ pound woman mostly naked, here's your chance. Technically, she is wearing panties, but it just doesn't cover much of that flesh.

So while all this is going on, the town's redneck residents are slowly turning each other into vampires. Unfortunately, these aren't the brightest of people, so they're pretty damn stupid vampires as well. As Lendel says at the end, "They're all complete f'ing idiots. This whole town is filled with morons and most of them have killed themselves off already." I think that sums up the situation and the movie perfectly. With lines like, "Calculus is a venereal disease!" and continual fart jokes, I'd have to say that Inbred Redneck Vampires is geared towards a very specific audience. I personally recommend that you become very drunk before attempting to watch it.

There are also a few special features on the DVD. To be honest, the acting was better in the Behind the Scenes than it was in the movie! The bloopers are quite funny though, probably the best part of the DVD. I really only recommend sitting through Inbred Redneck Vampires if you're drunk or just in the mood for really bad humor.



-Cyn, GameVortex Communications
AKA Sara Earl

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