My Horse and Me
Score: 30% ESRB: Everyone Publisher: Atari Developer: W!Games Media: CD/1 Players: 1 - 4 Genre: Family/ Sports/ Simulation
Graphics & Sound: Perhaps it's because I came to this game with high expectations... I mean, who doesn't love the idea of watching the world go by on horseback? The technical failings of My Horse & Me overshadow poor overall presentation, but not by much. The graphics look like either the end of the PSOne or the beginning of the PS2, which is sooooo eight years ago. In many of the levels, what looks like rain or snow is actually intended to be particles of dust or flowers floating in the air. What prevents suspension of your disbelief is that the particles just hang in the air strangely like exactly what they are... programmed objects in a piece of software. Other glitchy visual elements extend, unfortunately, to the horse. The poor things are herky and jerky and just don't move like the real thing. The rider is customizable to some extent, but there's no sensitivity to different body types. The girls portrayed are either blond, redheaded, or ethnic. If you fall somewhere in between and don't have average build with average figures, you aren't going to see yourself in this game. The horses have more variety and you can reliably configure the type of horse on which you'd like to be seen. This may mean more to most girls than how much the riders appears to match their style, but I don't think so... The other big mistake is to have incredibly annoying voice talent attached to the game. The same voice repeating the same inane phrases is never a great thing, especially when the tone is robotic and unchanging. The technical drawbacks in My Horse & Me are surrounded by what must have seemed like natural and catchy phrases; all the better to drive you completely insane as you hear the voice saying, "Oops, you missed one!" while you are pulling out your hair trying to control your horse. There is some background music and realistic sounds according to the setting, but relatively little inventive sound design. The clop-clop of the horse and the sounds of the different gaits are done well, but this can't make up for all the game's other shortcomings.
Gameplay: There's a lot of good thought behind My Horse & Me in this department. Compete in jump events, ride for fun, play mini-games, do some training, or just take time out to groom your horse... If all things were equal, we'd have a blast playing a horsey game with such a wide array of options. There just aren't enough good points about the gameplay to redeem the major downside in other areas. Selecting a mount and customizing your ride is available from go, but this doesn't mean that additional features can't be unlocked as you play through the game. Once you create and save a profile, you're ready to hit the dirt. Selecting the various practice modes will put you in either Riding Practice or Jumping Practice. You'll go through a series of short lessons that revolve around basic controls. You'll find this is the first moment where it becomes clear that you are in serious trouble. I've been on some cantankerous horses, but there's rarely a problem with walking and turning. This horse doesn't respond well to most commands and pressing buttons to overcome poor motion controls is truly awful. We've been spoiled on the Wii to expect better. At the conclusion of training, you may decide to hit Free Ride or do some additional training through a series of Course modes. You can also jump right into a competition. There are multiplayer options for up to four players, but more than one person means that you'll take turns and compare scores. Heck, we could have done that anyway, without calling it four-player multiplayer... The mini-games are some of the most fun because even though they incorporate the poor controls, they feel like they should feel frivolous. The rest of the game isn't supposed to be frivolous, which is the sad part. In the mini-game section, you can do the obvious things like collect different items, but you can also play a fun game where ribbon trails behind your horse and captures balloons as you enclose them. Another weird but fun mini-game involves comparing two different scenes to spot differences. Apparently this is relevant to riders because they have to pay special attention while on horseback.
Difficulty: There's almost no inherent difficulty in this game beyond the challenges of poor controls. Everything is well explained and prepped and the courses are filled with visual cues. The direction and coaching you receive, while repetitive, is actually good for helping to keep things on track. Courses are finished in a mercifully short time and don't force you to draw out the punishment. The worst potential scenario in a track would be to get turned around and this isn't possible thanks to arrows that show you (a la Crazy Taxi) the way to the next jump sequence. If the multiplayer were more interactive, there might be some decent potential to race or compete in real time. As it stands now, you'll find everything to be pretty stale and not challenging.
Game Mechanics: Oh, the humanity! Many people who have never driven a bulldozer or a tank won't know this, but the darn things only control with two sticks. Pulling up on one stick moves the tread on one side and changes direction; the opposite tread will move and turn the 'dozer in the opposite direction. Those of us with some 'dozer driving experience will immediately feel at home with the My Horse & Me controls. It feels much like driving a 'dozer or tank, just not as responsive. If My Horse & Me were a bulldozer simulator, it might actually feel realistic, but in attempting to simulate the rolling and fluid motion of a horse, it is a complete failure. Half the time the motions on the Wii-mote create no response from your horse. The other half of the time, the horse goes wild and breaks into some brisk canter or starts backing up. The most intuitive controls are what aren't offered. Instead of holding up both the Wii-mote and Nunchuk and moving them side-to-side as you would with reins, you have to hold one arm still and dead while lifting the other up toward the sky. If you are moving too quickly you'll find the horse bumping into walls and stalling out before jumps. It's incredibly easy to fix some of the control issues by just pressing buttons, but this feels like cheating. The motion-controls aren't accurate and on Wii that is largely a deal-breaker. We're happy to turn the Wii-mote sideways and play NES-style all day long for old, arcade games. Sacrificing motion control for a new title like this just speaks to a failed effort. It's hard to imagine any gamer or aspiring rider enjoying My Horse & Me. Parents that buy this for their little girl will likely be disappointed as the kids' smile turns into a frown and then a sneer. Nothing is less fun than walking into a game like this where the premise is so interesting and where the Wii's motion controls seem a completely reasonable proposition, only to find a mess. The design efforts and the planning behind the game modes shine through somewhat, but not enough to make a difference. Better to look this gift horse in the mouth and walk away, kids...
-Fridtjof, GameVortex Communications AKA Matt Paddock
Miss Management Turok