The Maiden Heist

The Maiden Heist is an absolutely adorable caper comedy of three museum security guards who take desperate measures when threatened with losing the pieces of art they've fallen in love with. Roger (Christopher Walken) is just a regular guy who works security at the Boston Museum. While doing his rounds, he fantasizes that he nobly protects the art, specifically one painting called "The Lonely Maiden," from gun-toting bad guys. In reality, he's just another guy with a red jacket, pacing the museum floors, spending as much time as he can gazing at his beloved painting. In his off time, he dons his beret and reads one of his many books on French art, while fantasizing he is on the beach with the "lonely maiden," the object of his dreams. Then one day, the unthinkable happens. The museum director has made a deal with a museum in Denmark to trade a special collection of art, including "The Lonely Maiden," for some modern art. Roger is devastated, but he is not alone. He soon realizes that two other security guards face the same situation. He spies Charlie (Morgan Freeman) staring longingly at the painting, "The Girl with the Cats," and the both of them see George (William H. Macy), late at night, cavorting with his favorite art piece, a bronze nude male statue called "The Bronze Warrior." Charlie is a man who lives in an apartment filled with cats and has spent the last 20 years recreating "The Girl with the Cats," almost daily and almost to perfection. George is a man's man who purports to have been a member of the 3rd wave at Grenada. Together, the trio concoct a mad plan to steal their favorite pieces and replace them with fakes during the hustle and bustle of the move, before the pieces are spirited away forever.

While this plot is being hatched and perfected, Roger's brash wife Rose (Marcia Gay Harden) discovers that $800 of her "Florida trip money" has gone missing and she immediately suspects her husband and confronts him. Poor Roger, when cornered, lies to Rose and says he had a surprise trip planned, which further complicates matters. Since it just wouldn't be as funny if things went according to plan, naturally they don't and what unfolds is a truly funny and awkward caper. When you look at this amazing ensemble cast, it's easy to see how they could work so well and so effortlessly together. Each actor plays his or her role to perfection, but it isn't just the acting that is stellar. Everything from the acting to the script and even down to the directing is absolutely superb. While the men are hatching their plan using a slipshod scale model of the museum comprised of toys and such, stop-action animation is used to great effect. Even the background music is reminiscent of France and at once both romantic and mischievous, just like the protagonists. I will admit that I never wanted to see this much of a naked William H. Macy, but it's funny stuff. The special features include commentary, a nice selection of deleted/extended scenes (better left deleted, but still nice to see), a making-of featurette that was enjoyable and an amusing blooper reel.

I must admit this movie took me by surprise. Sure, I love the actors who played the roles, so I had hoped it would be cute, but even some of these gents have played in a stinker or two in their time (The Code, anyone?). But I never expected to fall in love with this movie and that's just what happened. It's funny, sweet and absolutely precious. A must see, especially if you enjoy caper comedies or any of these fine actors.

The Maiden Heist

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